Every so often two cows and I pass each other on the walk home from school. Now normally the owner is in between these two cows talking to them and somehow guiding them in the right direction simply by using his voice. However, today one of them apparently got a little too anxious and scurried off to chew on the grass at the top of the hill…again. As the owner ran ahead to grab the cow’s rope and tug him over I found myself laughing and thinking, “Guess he got away again, huh?”
I then realized that I have been in Honduras for way too long. The fact that I am no longer fazed by having to share a road with cows or even more so that I laugh when the cow is “blocking the road again,” lets me know that I have finally become comfortable in my surroundings. Which, to be completely honest, could be considered sort of a feat here in Cofradia.
Furthermore, I am finally starting to feel comfortable in the classroom. I remember at the beginning of school Samira, one of the 2nd yr teachers, told us that she didn’t start feeling comfortable in her classroom until December or January.
Now, for a first year teacher this was the worst news possible. Six Months?! It takes six whole months to feel comfortable? I cant wait that long! But alas, it is November, it has been four months and I am starting to feel comfortable in my classroom. Right on time.
I no longer have to yell over 25 crazy kids just to be heard and my throat is very thankful for this. I don’t stress over whether or not a lesson plan is going to work because for the most part I know what my kids can “handle” and what they cant. In fact, I think we do even more adventurous activities now that my kids are in a routine and behave so much better than before.I wake up at 5:45am instead of 5:30am (every minute counts) and lately I have only been staying an hour after school instead of two. Like I said, every minute counts in my life.
The ironic thing about all this is that im just now reaching that point of security and yet, I feel its also nearing the point where I need to decide what I am going to be doing after this whole experience is over with.
I went on a hike this past weekend in the beautiful Panacam National Park and, as with any good three hour hike, I began to think about a lot of things in my life. One thing I thought about was time. I realized how quickly time passes you by. I realized it was around this time last year that I applied for this very job, a time in my life in which the future seemed so foggy and uncertain. I had no clue where I would be in six months and only a faint idea of what I actually wanted to do.
I also realized that I am on track to make a full circle and return to that same place that was so foggy and uncertain.Furthermore, I realized that I maybe on this revolving path for a good portion of my life.
I am a photojournalist turned teacher with a keen interest in international relations. How do I fit that into a cohesive resume? I feel like I am back at square one with the whole world before me and yet, I have no clue in which direction to take my first step.
The one thing that I have on my side is that I am fairly young and at least have a couple of years to “screw up” before society deems it necessary for me to settle in a career. But whose to say that I ever want to settle? Settling is not in my nature, hence my constant pondering of life and my place in it.
Perhaps I need to make a trip to Enma, the licuado lady/town gossiper. She always has an opinion and Im sure she would let me know EXACTLY what I’m meant to do.
